The Adventures of Samuel and Selina by Jean C. Archer

In Spring,
While softly cooed
The Dove,
Sam
Told Selina of
His Love.

The Summer Moon
smiled on them both,
Selina plighted him her Troth.

But Autumn brought a gayer
Swain—
Selina broke it off again.

‘Tis Winter now—
Selina’s slack—
She’d give her thumbs to have
him back.

Yet-—
When they met
She tossed her head;
He
Stared at her and
Cut her dead!

But Fate at last to them was
kind:
It sent
a
Roaring,
Raging
Wind!

Which,
Just as Sam was passing by,
Blew off Selina’s Hat!
Oh! My!

Sam
Caught it—by a daring
jump.

Selina’s
Heart
went
Thump! Thump!! Thump!!!

“Oh, Sam! ” she cried;
Tears dimmed her sight—
And after that it all came
right.

They made it up and very
soon
They started on their Honey-
moon.

Selina proved a model wife,
Her Sam was all her joy in
life;
She fetched his shoes and
darned his hose,
And sympathized with all his
woes.

And,
As she let him have his say,
He loved her more from day
to day ;

And—on her birthday—for a
spree,
Took her to the Menagerie.

She revelled in the Monkey
Walk,
Where Apes, of motley hue,
Each jumped—upon a yellow
stick—
All shining and brand new.

And picture, children, how the
Snarks
Rejoiced her frugal mind;
They ate the Buns, they ate
the Bag,
And even stale cheese rind.

The Jub-jub birds Selina fed,
But they were rude and
rough;
They fought and scratched,
Nor would they stop
When they had had enough.

At last,
When happy, hot and
tired.

They found no more to see,
Sam took her to a shady spot
And treated her to tea.

Selina’s hat and dress he
praised,
She clapped his feeblest
puns;
It was a perfect carnival
Of sentiment and Buns!

Much time, alas! they cannot
spare,
Since holidays are few;
Soon, hand in hand, they start
afresh
To seek adventures new.

And all about along the
walks
Stern “Cautions” they
espy;
“You need not fear,” said
Samuel,
“While I, my love, am
nigh.”

Alas! how brief are mortal
joys;
There comes an awful burbling
noise!

As, terror-struck, he turns to
fly,
Too late he hears her
anguished cry,
“O Samuel!
O Samuel!!
Beware!
The awful
Camuel!!!”

The Camel rushed!
The Camel flew !
Till all its spots were streaks
of blue;
To Samuel it seemed to be
Itself a whole
Menagerie!

The Camel chased him round
and round;
He sank—exhausted—on the
ground;
The Camel never noticed that,
But pranced along—
with Sammy’s hat.

And—when it found its victim
gone,
Imagine how the brute went
on;
It bucked and reared
and kicked
and shied,
Till, finally,
It BUST!
and died.

When Sammy heard the loud
report
And saw the pieces fly,
He felt that sure as eggs was
eggs
He, too, must surely die.

But brave Selina, though
her tears
Fell all the while like
rain,
Washed off the dirt and
set him up
Upon his feet again.

She found the remnants of his
hat,
And led him to the gate ;
But there the Camel’s owner
stood
As large and grim as fate.

Before they left, that
greedy man
Took all the cash they
had,
And turned their pockets
inside-out
(Which made Selina mad).

How different their coming
home
From their gay start at
morn;
They creep along—a sorry
sight—
Bedraggled and forlorn.

He knows he showed a
want of pluck,
Whatever she may say;
She feels that it was all
her fault
For having a birthday.

But—once at home—the
ruddy blaze
Each drooping spirit cheers;
Sam sets Selina by the fire
And wipes away her tears.

He draws her closer to
his side;
He tootles on a comb,
And sings her, as her
sobs subside,
A verse of
“Home, Sweet Home.”

From: Archer, Jean C., The Adventures of Samuel and Selina, 1902, Grant Richards: London.
(https://archive.org/details/adventuresofsamu00archiala/)

Date: 1902

By: Jean C. Archer (fl. 1902-1903)

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