The Liberal Christ Gives an Interview by Adrian Mitchell

I would have walked on the water
But I wasn’t fully insured
And the BMA sent a writ my way
With the very first leper I cured.

Would’ve preached a golden sermon
But I didn’t like the look of the Mount
And I would’ve fed fifty thousand
But the Press wasn’t there to count.

And the businessmen in the temple
Had a team of coppers on the door
And if I’d spent a year in the desert
I’d have lost my pension for sure.

I would’ve turned the water into wine
But they weren’t giving licences
And I would have died and been crucified
But like – you know how it is.

I’m going to shave off my beard
And cut my hair
Buy myself some bullet-proof
underwear
I’m the Liberal Christ
And I’ve got no blood to spare.

From: https://www.marxists.org/history/etol/newspape/isj/1967/no028/mitchell2.htm

Date: 1967

By: Adrian Mitchell (1932-2008)

Tags: 1967, adrian mitchell, i would have walked on the water, poetry, the liberal christ gives an interview