Archive for March 19th, 2016

Saturday, 19 March 2016

The Fishwife and Mustaches; or Sandhill Oratory by Robert Emery

Tune: “Drawing a Long Bow; or, How To Tell a Story”

The brave Scotch Greys’ Colonel, as fine as ye’d wish,
Swagger’d down to Sandhill to purchase some fish;
His Mustaches so large did attract Heuphy Scott,
Who had soals on her stall, so he priced a lot.

Eight shillins a pair, Sur, ye cannot weel grudge—
They’re the best in the market, if aw’s ony judge:
But the Colonel replied with a kind of a frown,
I do think you’re well paid if you get half a crown.

Then Heuphy enrag’d, thought the Hero to stagger, —
Just leuk at his arse there, the lobster back’d bugger!
Half a croon!!!—wey, aw sure! —di’ ye think that aw rob?
Wi’ yor clarty black whiskers that grows round yor gob!

A mistake, my good woman, you’ve made in your rage—
They are called Mustaches—the best, I’ll engage: —
Mouse-catchers!!awd c—t fyece! noo just say nee mair,
For aw piss ev’ry day through a far better pair!!!

The Colonel, with laughing, was near overcome,
At last says to Heuphy—pray, send the fish home;
And instead of eight shillings, I’ll pay you with nine.
For I’ll laugh at this joke when I’m far from the Tyne.


Date: 1826

By: Robert Emery (1794-1871)